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Nitong mga nakaraang araw, bigla na naman nauso ang mga religious issues, salamat kina Manny Pacquiao at Lady Gaga. Uminit na naman ang mga diskusyon tungkol sa kung ano ang tama o mali, moral o immoral tsaka kung anu-ano pang antonyms.

Nagalit ang mga bading kay Manny dahil umano sa kaniyang binitiwang salita patungkol sa sinasabi ng Bibliya tungkol sa mga nakikipagrelasyon sa kapwa nila lalaki/babae. (Manny Pacquiao: mahusay MAKIBAKA, hindi MAKABEKI).

Ang mga “relihiyoso” naman mukhang nakitaan ng sungay at buntot si Mother Monster, a.k.a Lady Gaga na nagpasikat ng mga kantang Poker Face at Born This Way. Siya din ang nagpasikat ng fashion brand na Monterey na mabibili na ngayun sa Frozen section ng lahat ng SM Supermarket nationwide.

Ito ang seryosong tanong.

Sino ang dapat magsabi kung ang isang bagay ay tama o mali? Sino ang magsasabi kung ang isang bagay ay masama o hindi? Sino ang magsasabi kung ang bagay ay immmoral o hindi?

Ang tama at mali, masama at mabuti ay nakapa subjective. Ako bilang ako, naniniwala ako na lahat ng bagay ay subjective. Ako bilang hindi ako, hindi ko alam. Para sa akin lahat ng bagay ay nakasalalay sa perspective. Walang absolute ika nga. Maliban sa tubig.

Para sa karamihan, ang moralidad ng isang bagay ay naayun sa kulturang kinagisnan at ang kulturang kinagisnan ay madalas naaayun sa relihiyon o paniniwala. Para sa mga Kristiyano, madalas nakabatay ang moralidad ng isang bagay sa kung ano ang nasasaad sa Bibliya. Koran naman para sa mga Muslim. Tanakh para sa Judaismo. Sruti para sa Hindus. Tripitaka para sa Buddhists. Tao Te Ching para sa Taoists. FHM para sa Soloists.

Totoo ba ang Bibliya? Historical ba ito? O isang napakagandang kwento na inakda ng maraming tao sa loob ng maraming taon? (isipin mo na lang nagsama sina Tolkien, Rowling, Shakespeare, Coelho, Lewis, Dickens, Twain, Tolstoy, Bob Ong, etc upang gumawa ng isang super novel).

Dahil alam ko mas madami sa atin dito ang Kristiyano at pamilyar sa Bibliya, tignan natin ang istorya nina Adan at Eba.

Si Adan ay ginawa ng Diyos. Nanggaling si Eba mula sa tadyang ni Adan. Nasa Hardin sila at masaya. Sinabihan sila ng Diyos na huwag kakain ng bunga mula sa Puno sa gitnan ng hardin. Kinausap si Eba ng ahas. Kapag kumain siya ng bunga ng puno sa gitna ng hardin, magiging parang Diyos na rin siya. Malalaman niya kung ano ang tama at kung ano ang mali. Kumain si Eba ng bunga. Pinakain din nya si Adan. At doon namulat sila kung ano ang tama at mali. Nahiya sila na wala silang saplot. At nagtago sila mula sa Diyos dahil sa kanilang hiya. Pinalayas sila ng Diyos mula sa Hardin.

Ayun sa Bibliya, hindi pa alam ng nina Adan at Eba kung ano ang tama at mali. Hindi nila alam kung ano ang mabuti at masama. Ang tanong ko, kung ganun maari silang makagawa ng mga bagay na hindi nila alam na mali o masama. Baka kaya nila nagawang kumain ng prutas dahil hindi nila alam na masama ang suwayin ang utos ng Diyos. Bakit nasa Hardin ang puno na yun kung san pinagbabawal kumain ng prutas? Di ba pwede wala na lang? Paano kung isang hayop ang nakakain ng prutas na yun? Mahihiya din ba ito dahil wala itong saplot? Kung pinakain nina Adan at Eba lahat ng mga hayop ng prutas din na yun, lahat ng hayop ngayun, may mga damit din sana.

Tanong. Naniniwala ka ba sa Bibliya? Ako, Oo. paano ko malalaman kung totoo ang mga nakasaad dito? Ewan ko. Hindi ko mapapatunayan na totoo, pero naniniwala ako. Yan ang tinatawag na Pananampalataya. Faith.

Ang Pananampalataya ay ang paniniwala sa isang bagay na hindi pa napapatunayan o hindi kaya patunuyan bilang totoo. Kung wala ka nito, wala ka patutunguhan sa mundong ibabaw.

Bumili ka isang lata ng me tatak, “555 Sardines”. Paano ka nakakasiguro an sardinas nga ang laman? Pero binili mo pa rin. mapapatunayan mo na sardinas ng kapag nabili mo na, nabuksan at nakain. Ngunit sa puntong nagdesisyon ka na bilhin ang latang iyon, pinapakita mo ang Pananampalataya na tama ang nakalagay sa tatak nito. Paano ka nakakasigurong mahal ka ng kasintahan mo? Paano ka nakakasigurong ang driver ng taxi na sinakyan mo ay hindi holdaper? Paano ka nakakasigurong babae nga yung sinipulan mo kanina? Paano ka nakakasiguro sa mga bagay-bagay kung wala kang pananampalataya?

At bakit kapag nahatsing ka kailangan mo pang ipagsabi sa lahat na para bang hindi alam ng iba ang tawag sa ginawa mo?

*Disclaimer – if you are conservative and easily offended,  I am sorry. You may now stop reading.

Twitter was on a frenzy yesterday as Vagina takes center stage as #ReplaceFilmTitlesWithVagina got into trending topic. I cunt stop myself from joining in the fun. Dirty-minded people found their opening to thrust in a few lines. Some people called it stupid very immature while others just went with the flow saying to the conservatives to stop being a pussy about it.  As for the one who started the trend, you sir must be a very funny dude/tte.

Now, come and enjoy a few samples.

  1. What Vagina are you From? (What Planet are you From)
  2. High School Vagina (High School Musical)
  3. A Beautiful Vagina (A Beautiful Mind)
  4. How to Train Your Vagina (How to Train your Dragon)
  5. Kissing a Vagina (Kissing a Fool)
  6. Happy Vagina (Happy Feet)
  7. Breaking Vagina (Breaking Dawn)
  8. Journey to the Center of the Vagina (Journey to the Center of the Earth)
  9. Deep Vagina (Deep Impact)
  10. My Bloody Vagina 3D (My Bloody Valentine 3D)
  1. V for Vagina (V for Vendetta)
  2. The Men Who Stare at Vaginas (The Men Who Stare at Goats)
  3. Jennifer’s Vagina (Jennifer’s Body)
  4. The Greatest Vagina Ever Played (The Greatest Game ever Played)
  5. Into the Vagina (Into the Blue)
  6. In Her Vagina (In Her Shoes)
  7. What Happens in Vagina (What Happen in Vegas)
  8. Vagina Disturbance (Domestic Disturbance)
  9. Stuck on Vagina (Stuck on You) – *hindi po si John Lloyd starring dito
  10. A Vagina to Remember (A Walk to Remember)

I think that’s enough Vagina for now. I’m tired from doing this many Vagina….jokes.

This is my mema post, so pagbigyan nyo na ako. 😛

Ako ay nagbabalik at ang isa kong kuko ay patay. Thank you. yun lang. 😛

Well, hello there? Musta na? Tagal din natin hindi nakakapagusap ah. Miss ba ako ng tatlong readers ko?

I’ve been very busy (kunwari) for the past months. I only managed to write 1 post in a span of almost 5 months. Eh dati naman 2 posts kada lingo.  Sana makahiligan ko ulit ang magsulat.

Nga pala, Happy New Year!!! Pasensya na kung medyo late. Ganun talaga eh, huli man daw ang timangkey, matalino pa rin. Bawi na lang ako sa pagbati next na holiday.

Happy Valentines!!!

Ayan, nakabawi na ako.

Nakakabagot din pala kapag naubusan ka ng basura na itatapon sa cyberespasyo. Nag general cleaning kasi sa utak ko last year kaya wala akong maikalat dito sa blog ko. Mararamirami na rin ako naikalat na kalokohan, kabulastugan, kabastusan dito. Nagtayo ng kulto na na me isang taon na mahigit ngunit wala pa sumasali. Mura lang naman ang registration fee. Pero for the last 5 months talagang wala ako oras para magsulat kahit magbasa sa ibang bahay. Napagtripan ko pa sumulat ng kwento. Naaalala mo si Dean? Ako hindi na. Gusto ko matuloy ang kwento nun kasi gusto ko malaman kung ano mangyayari. Sana this year. Sana. Lumipas din anibersaryo ng bahay ko na hindi ko man lang nacelebrate. Kung me bumati pa sana ay kung nagkataon nilibre ko at pinainom ko, sky is the langit.

Wala na rin ako balita sa mga kaibigan dito. Sino sino pa ba mga active dyan? Paramdam naman kayo. Sino sino mga naputulan ng kamay noong Bagong Taon? Magcomment naman kayo.

Dahil bagong taon, sana bumalik ulit ang dating gana sa pagsusulat. At dahil bagong taon, ililista ko na lang mga bagay at kurokuro na aking natutunan at napag isipisip nitong nakaraang taon:

–          Ang shelf life ng New Year’s Resolution ay 2 weeks to 2 months lang.

–          Mas bagay tawagin itong New Months Resolution.

–          Nakakainis na kung kelan Bagong taon pinaiiral ng militar at ng mga rebelde ang kanilang “Tigil Putukan”. Mga lintik kayo, eh kung tigil putukan kayo buong taon tapos sa New Year ninyo ibuhos para mas maingay! Para kahit hindi na magpaputok mga bata!

–          Ang paputok ay hindi lang pantanggal ng malas, pantanggal din ito ng mga daliri.

–          Ang mga bata karaniwang napuputukan sa kamay, ang mga bading sa pwet.

–          Mas makakatipid ka kapag magdala ka ng recorder at irecord mo lahat ng putukan na maririnig tuwing bagong taon. Ipatugtog mo na lang ito ng pagkalakas lakas kapag alas dose na. Pwede ulit ulitin. At pwede pa gamitin next year.

—————-

–          Maglock ng pinto kapag gagamit ng cr…. Lalo ng kapag hindi mo bahay.

–          Kung kelan ka walang pera saka ka madaling magutom.

–          Ang tagalog pala ng Gray ay Putim.

–          Hindi nasusukat ang kagandahan sa panlabas na anyo, kundi sa panloob… na suot.

–          Wag papasok sa office ng bukas ang zipper… lalo na kapag wala kang panloob.

–          Ang pantalon ay pwede ding panlakad, pantakbo, pantulog, etc.

–          And Ibong Adarna kapag naiputan ka, titigas ka. Si Ellen Adarna, makita mo pa lang…

–          Wala akong kwentang kausap.

Oh siya! Balitaan nyo ako. Sana tuloy tuloy na ulit ito. 😛

Un-sad. Un-A.S.D. Undas.

As I got out of the tricycle and saw the cemetery, I half expected a band to play and march on the the streets, with floats following and with confettis flying through the air.

There were food stalls everywhere. Teens were wearing their “gimik” get up. Toy vendors peddling wands with flashing lights, headbands with glowing red devil horns and other toys. People enjoying the assorted food they spent all evening preparing. Children playing and running around.

It was a relatively happy atmosphere. Feastive actually. Maybe that’s why they call it “‘Pista’ ng Patay” (more like Pista ng Buhay).

Maybe they should have a “Pa-liga”. or Barangay Officials night. or have a big Cook-Off that is almost a common activity nowadays for fiestas in a bid to get the World Record. Longest this. Biggest that. And to complete the recipe, a talent search and a Beauty Contest, MISS UNDAS 2010.

Whoever named this Holiday got only half of it right. I did not see a single corpse enjoying the good food. I did not see any corpse enjoying the latest “chika” from someone who he havent heard from for quite some time. I didnt even see any corpse dancing to the latest “K-pop” songs blaring from the sound system (and those songs really make “everyone” wanna sway their hips, fling their hands, bob their heads or at the their least tap your feet). I did not see some little corpses playing with their glow in the dark yoyos or devil horns. Nevertheless, even with the absence of gluttonous, gossiping, dancing and playing corpses, the overall feeling of the day was still joyoush. happy. homo.. err.. gay. merry. Un-sad.

I was carrying 2 flower arrangements that made me look like I am courting someone from the grave. Good thing I left the chocolates at home. I was wearing my “World’s 2nd Greatest Dad” shirt, shorts and slippers. Those are not things to wear if you were to go courting especially the shirt so I was confident no one thought i am wooing a dead lady. Plus, its All Saints Day and I am the only one stupid enough to think about such things upon seeing a guy with flowers on this day.

One side of the gravel road lay the graves and on the other side were the mausoleums. These are those structures that look like houses for the graves. The rich are protected from the elements even after death, while some living people brave those same elements day-in and day-out. I suddenly remembered a saying “Aanhin mo ang Bahay na Bato kung ang nakatira ay Kwago….”. I thought, at least the Owl is still living, and really needs the shelter.

“Aanhin mo ang Bahay na Bato kung ang nakatira ay Bangkay…”

Arriving at the site where my wife’s grandparents were laid (no double meaning here), I laid the flowers on the graves. There were food and drinks. Somebody offered but I politely declined. I ate before we went there. There were those who were playing the Filipino favorite, “Tong-its”. I was tempted to join but I know I am not that good yet to play with the “pros”.

So I just stood there, People-watching.

Young women wearing short shorts were everywhere. With those shorts, they should just have written “Dito ka magtirik ng kandila” in front. Young men looking at those women. There were those who looked like they are about to go to the bar with all the make up and accessories. There were the Emo type, with there black shirt, black fitted pants, black eyeliners and (maybe) black underwears. I would have given them scythes if I had brought some. That would have completed their get up.

There were those who have been eating since we arrived. They were still eating.

There are kids playing and running around playing with melted candle wax. Some are buying popsicles from the Icecream vendor with one of those annoying bakground music that plays over and over and over again.

I went into a corner and lighted a cigarette. Good thing they did not ban cigarettes.

I looked at the scene again. If you happen to see the cemetry at a quick glance, you’d think you were in a park (not memorial). There were no above ground gaves and only epitaphs are signs that there were once living people lying below the ground. Its like a Family day weekend or a really really big birthday party was being celebrated.

After some more puffs (and huffs with no pigs in sight), I went to my wife and sat down. Had a little bit of chit-chat. Play with Melissa. And we were off, to another site. This one’s for the other side of my wife family.

Same thing. I just stood in the corner and watch while eating ‘butong pakwan”. Different site, same activities.

I wonder, are we Filipinos really this happy and addicted to the “fiesta” spirit? Every week there must be a fiesta being held somewhere in the Philippines. We are a nation of “fiestas”. We can make a fiesta out of anything. Bangus, Basi, Kulambo, Maskara, etc. Maybe one day, we will have a fiesta for every item found in the local market.

As the afternoon got later and the earth is beginning to be swallowed by its own shadow, we got ready to leave. As we were about to leave, raindrops began to fall. Darkness is slowly covering the cemetery with the lights just coming from unnatural sources. Candles, glowing wands, lights from the mausoleums. We walked again towards the gates of the cemetery.

It is still drizzling.

Aboard the tricycle, I glanced once more at cemetery. Even in the darkness and the drizzle, the place still radiates happiness and celebration.

As the tricycle moved forward, the tears fell down from heaven and expressed the sadness that we have failed to show for this Un-sad day.

It was not long ago since I read a post about this program. I think it was BeefJerky or BakaTapa or something who posted it. I made a comment that someday I will be a part of it. And now I am.

I am now a champion.

For children…

——

Imagine…

Some kids play Farmville for fun… Some kids actually do that work for real.

Some kids cut classes… Some kids want to go to school but they can’t.

Some kids don’t eat their vegetables… Some don’t even have vegetables to eat.

Some kids got pimped out rooms… Some kids don’t even have a bed

Some kids got bright future ahead of them… Some kids won’t even make it through to tomorrow.

Every child should be able to enjoy being a child. Every child should be given an opportunity for a brighter future.

Let us help these children get the best possible start in life they can get.

20 pesos per day.

The amount to spend on a half pack of cigarettes.

The amount of the dessert after lunch.

The amount of one-hour worth of surfing/blogging.

The amount of one soda can for refreshments.

The amount that could change a child’s life.

Be a champion. Visit www.unicef.ph and click the Champions for Children button on the home page.

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I am sorry I have not visited any of your sites for quite sometime. I also have not visited my site. I am very busy and no time to be online. I guess my thoughts will have to wait before being published here again.

Il be back… i dont know when, but I certainly will.

After 3 years in my very first project, I will have to pack up and leave people whom I already considered close friends. It is my choice and bitter-sweet as it is, i must go.

It was my very first project here in this field that i really knew nothing about, programming. I was not a programmer. I am actually a techno moron. Yes, I know what a keyboard looks like, I know what a cpu and a mouse is, I use the net, I play a little pc games, but that was it. I am no programmer.

My college education and license did little help on my line of work I chose after school life. I am a techno moron CPA in a world full of techies. I did not fit in, at first.

After a few weeks of training. I kinda told myself, “Hey, I can deal with this shit.” =)

And I was off to my first project. I can still remember my trembling hands when I did my first work for the project. And to think it was only to run some report. I was so afraid to click that little button. That little button to run the report. But after 3 years, I aint even afraid to play around some coding anymore. Try different things.

We were the pioneers of that project. It was a new client for the company. I can still remember how we used to do night shifts because the other team members were somewhere in the U.S. doing some onshore work. It was so hard to stay awake during those “Knowledge Transfers”. We would end up sleeping through it.

After the KTs, its now our time to show what we’ve got. Time to display those skills we’ve learned to help the client. It was tough at first. We had to study the system. Know what works and what doesnt. And boy, a lot of them did not work. So we had to fix things that previous programmers messed up. It was a tough first year. But we managed through it.

I learned… and for someone who considers himself a techno moron, I did good. I managed to get recognitions for the work I put in. I was even an instructor for a module I was working on. I even had to teach other projects how that module functions. And as new teammates came in, I was the one they were consulting for issues and investigations.

But then again, things change. Things worked against me. I became frustrated. I was never a fan of office politics.

So I changed too. I did not do as much as i used to. I rebelled. 

But instead of continuing this I just decided to step away. If I keep doing what I’ve been doing, I will only be proving them right. So its best to leave.

I will be leaving taking with me the all the knowledge I learned from this project. I will be leaving taking with me the memories of the people I had pleasure working with.

I was not a programmer. I am now. And will only get better at what I do.

Here is to yah all guys…

Read the title…

Timangkeylendaryo

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